Jax Book Nook

Just finished the first season of Fallout. As someone who’s a fan of the video games and who has written about those games on this blog, I have to say that I am enjoying the show. However, there is one plot twist that I can’t really get behind: the decision to make Vault-Tec the main bad guy. Why? Well, it comes down to motivation.

Some recap: the Fallout world takes place in the United States, 200 years after nuclear war. Part of humanity has taken refuge in a series of vaults underground. These vaults are constructed by Vault-Tec, a private corporation, that sells spots in the vault. In the game, it becomes clear that many of these vaults were designed to conduct experiments on their human inhabitants. The show has Vault-Tec go beyond experiments, and actually makes Vault-Tec the cause of the nuclear war to begin with. Then, a Vault-Tec executive, kept alive for centuries in a pod and awakened 200 years later, destroys a city. We see executives splitting the vaults amongst themselves and planning human experiments.

Question: why? In South Park, we get an episode where underwear gnomes are stealing Tweak’s underwear while his dad tries to get a big corporate coffee shop run out of town. Our protagonists find the underwear gnomes who explain their plan. It goes like this: underwear. question mark. profit. The joke here is that corporations exist to make money, and the underwear gnomes’ actions of stealing underwear make no sense in light of that goal.

Big corporations make good villains because they have a clear motive: making money. The problem comes when you have big corporations literally cause the end of the world. Vault-Tec executives propose dropping a bomb in order to conduct their vault experiments…Why? How can they make money if the world dies in a nuclear holocaust? Same thing with the other companies in the world. They exist to make money. How does conducting experiments in isolated vaults help them make money when the world has been wiped out by nuclear weapons?

Indeed, in the Fallout world, the billions of dollars these corporations already have become worthless overnight. People start using bottlecaps for currency. This isn’t just a problem in the show. It’s been hinted in the games that Vault-Tec was a big player in the war. The problem, once again, is that Vault-Tec stops making money if the war they are scaring people about actually happens. It’s actually what makes Vault-Tec really evil: they sell people spaces in vaults in the event of a war they clearly don’t expect to happen. If they did, the money they took would be worthless. If they actually thought the war was happening, they would demand to be paid in gold.

That problem disappears if they create these experimental vaults at the behest of a government agencies. Government contractors do any number of odd things if the price is right. Nor is there any general problem with making a big corporation a villain, so long as you aren’t literally ending the world. If all the big corporation is doing is dumping toxic waste near schools or forcing workers to survive in an acid mine, then that works because the world is still around to make money in. The problem comes when you have a profit driven company intentionally create a post-apocalyptic world where making a profit is impossible.

Fallout is not the only franchise to have this problem. Resident Evil has the Umbrella Corporation create a zombie apocalypse for seemingly no reason. Greed’s a good motivation for a villain, but most greedy people know that robbing a bank is pointless if you have to obliterate the city it’s in to do it.

I am proud to announce the moment I have worked for over the past four years has come to pass: my magnum opus “Christmas in Pandemonium” has been accepted at I Ain’t Your Marionette Publishing House. My thanks to the editorial staff at I Ain’t Your Marionette Publishing House and to my literary agent, Joe Dycut. I hope this is the beginning of a fruitful partnership.

To give a recap, Christmas in Pandemonium is the first book in a planned series of seven to take place in the town of Pandemonium, South Carolina. While Plymouth was founded by pilgrims and Philadelphia was founded by Quakers, Pandemonium was founded by Satan worshipping witches in the year 1620. They are joined by the Strangers, a group of disreputable pirates who turn into Christian religious zealots after seeing the Witches commit an act of human sacrifice. They are later joined by the Fieldhands, which is the name for Pandemonium’s African-American Community, and the Ze’ev, a Jewish sect that turns into big furry monsters during the full moon. Other than that, it’s a normal town.

The story begins in the present day when the Strangers decide to sell their church to Miles Simon, a Prosperity Gospel preacher. Simon discovers the Strangers have a vampire, Theo, living in their basement, and that he can hypnotize people with his eyes. When Simon proposed to Theo that he use his powers to force people to give them money, Theo refuses. Simon then resurrects Scratch, Theo’s vampiric rival, hoping he’ll be willing to deal. Scratch has other plans. Now, the locals have to hunt him down. On the other side of the island, the Davis family works to reform the Satanic rituals, unbeknownst to the current Satanic High Priest, Acton Ravenwood.

I hope everyone reading this blog post will pick up a copy. I’m looking forward to promoting my book on social media and in stores.

I’ve been enjoying X-Men ’97. Takes me back to my time watching the show as a kid. Great animation, quality plots, engaging character development. My complements to everyone who works on the show.

However, X-Men as a property always made me wonder about the rest of the Marvel Universe. In the event the people who read my blog have never heard of X-Men, (if so, how are you able to read this blog on that remote desert island without internet access you are apparently living on?), it’s a comic book where people are born with superpowers as a result of natural evolution. These people, called mutants, are hated and feared by the world, leading to discriminatory laws and the creation of robots who hunt them down called Sentinels. (Funny. X-Men was originally written in the 1960s during the civil rights movement, but today with all the hysteria over AI, the American public would probably find the creation of a legions of robotic bounty hunters to be a lot more threatening than the odd person who can direct the laws of magnetism.)

Great concept, but if the Marvel Universe has people who were just born with superpowers, no other explanation needed, and these people are hated and feared, I have to wonder how this affects the other superheroes in the universe.

***

Peter Parker: So that’s it, I’m Spider-Man.

(Mary Jane and Harry look at each other as Peter stands before them in his Spidey-suit, sans mask. They both appear concerned and a little incredulous.)

Peter: Is something wrong?

Harry: Peter, I’m your friend. I’m really glad you’re willing to come out and tell me this about yourself. You can tell us anything. But this story about being bitten by a radioactive spider….

Peter: What about it?

Mary Jane: Peter, we’re a couple. You know I’m not prejudiced against mutants, and neither is Harry. If you’re a mutant, you can just tell us. You don’t have to come up with some silly story about being bitten by a radioactive spider.

Peter: It’s not a story. I was really bitten by a radioactive spider. That’s how I got my powers.

Harry: Peter, I mean, come on. We don’t know as much about science as you do, but I know enough that irradiating a spider doesn’t turn its venom into some kind of magic potion.

Peter: Well, this time it did. I know because I got my powers right after that.

Mary Jane: Peter, you actually seem to believe this, but let me ask you: when do mutants normally get their powers?

Peter: When they hit puberty.

Mary Jane: When were you bitten by this spider?

Peter: Fifteen.

Mary Jane: Yeah, you were always a late bloomer.

Harry: I think MJ’s just saying that there’s a much more rational explanation for this.

Peter: Look, not everyone who has superpowers is a mutant. Just the vast majority of people. I mean, do you guys think Captain America is a mutant?

Mary Jane: He could be. Why not?

Peter: He was around in the 40s. Mutants didn’t start showing up until the 60s.

Harry: They started coming out in the 60s. That doesn’t mean they didn’t exist back then.

***

Steve Rogers: Nick, I just think we need to come clean.

Nick Fury: Why?

Steve: Why? They’re actively discussing laws against mutants in Congress right now. Professor Xavier just called me up on the phone and asked why I’m not saying anything about it, and I really couldn’t give him a straight answer.

Nick: You said something. You condemned the law on Twitter. What else do you need to do?

Steve: No, Nick, I mean Xavier asked me why I didn’t “come out.” If one of those laws passes, it will apply to me.

Nick: No, there’s an exception in the law for people who weren’t born with their powers.

Steve: Nick. You can’t possibly believe what you’re saying.

Nick: What? You got your powers from a super serum developed by a scientist during the World War II.

Steve: A super serum that was only used twice, despite being completely effective, during a war where the fate of western civilization was at stake? You’re telling me that America developed a super weapon during World War II that it only used twice despite being involved in a Cold War for forty years and God knows what else? Who believes that?

(A Japanese scientist in the corner gives Steve an awkward side-eye)

Nick: Well, you know better than anyone that the guy who created it died.

Steve: And he never wrote the formula down anywhere? We haven’t been able to recreate the formula in the eighty years since then? It’s just not plausible. I need to just tell people I’m a mutant, Nick.

Nick: No one here heard that. It’s classified.

Clint Barton: Sir, it might not matter. You probably need to watch the news.

***

(Bruce Banner appears in front of a podium. The press surrounds him, waiting for him to speak)

Bruce: Thank you all for being here. As you know, the U.S. Congress has started to consider legislation to deal with the mutant “issue,” as it’s been called. To say nothing about the fleet of robots patrolling the streets to find Magneto, which is kind of a strange thing to do actually. Why are you sending metal robots after Magneto?

Anyway, in the current climate, I find that I can stay silent no longer. In the past, I have told you that I received my powers after being caught in the explosion of a gamma bomb I devised. That is a lie. I am a mutant. So are Captain American, Thor, and Scarlet Witch. I can’t believe we got away with this for so long, particularly given how facile the lie was.

The important thing to do now is vote down any proposed laws that restrict the freedom of mutants. We’ve been defending America against criminals, Nazis, and aliens for almost a century now. I think we’ve earned the public’s trust. Yes, some people born with powers abuse them. That could be said about any power, particularly the kind held by people in government. I will now take questions.

Reporter: Mr. Banner, are you sure you didn’t get your powers in a Gamma Bomb explosion?

Bruce: No, I would think intelligent people would realize that would kill a man.

Reporter: What about a gamma ray infused super serum?

Bruce: There are no super serums. Radiation doesn’t do that to people. Those are all just excuses the federal government uses to hide the fact that they employ mutants to deal with threats to America even as those hypocritical assholes threaten to restrict our civil liberties.

Reporter: What if you’re a space alien or a god?

Bruce: I know that I’m not either of those things. Look I’m telling you that I’m just a mutant. Why would you want me to be anything else?

Reporter: Because I don’t want you fucking people living in my goddamn neighborhood, that’s why!

Bruce: Okay, sir, I’m about to get mad.

(Upon hearing this, everyone in the room other than Bruce screams and flees the area. Bruce just looked into the camera and deadpans.)

Bruce: Some people just can’t control themselves.

I haven’t posted much lately as I’ve been writing another novel, while promoting Beer Run II (now out on Amazon, please buy). The creative juices have been all invested in the new novel.

Another thing that happened is I decided to give up alcohol for Lent. Maybe I thought I needed to imbibe a little less. Maybe I needed to give up a little more this year. Then, I thought that maybe I needed to watch out for my health a little bit more. Who knows? But I did my 40 days without any beer, wine, or liquor (Technically 45 since I maintained abstinence on Sundays and Sundays don’t count as part of Lent. Also, I broke my fast one day early on Holy Saturday to celebrate). What was the experience like?

First, it really wasn’t that difficult. For all the people who have accused me of being an alcoholic, I’ve had one response: I just like the taste of beer. Well two responses. The other is that I’m a functional alcoholic. Turns out the first part was right, at least. I don’t know how functional I am, drunk or sober. The one thing I really missed was the taste of beer, and this desire was ameliorated by the expanding variety of non-alcoholic beer in the world.

A word on that: non-alcoholic beer is actually getting to be pretty good. This was a surprise to me because when I was growing up, non-alcoholic beer was a joke. Of course, I’m American, so when I was growing up, beer in general was kind of a joke. It’s not like Busch Light NA was that much worse than Busch Light. But brewers really are getting better at their trade, and near beer is approximating the taste of real beer better and better every day. Not quite there but getting close. If you are interested in it yourself, I would recommend Sierra Nevada’s hop infused sparkling water and their Ale Trail Beer. BrewDog is also pretty good, as is Guinness’s new attempt at alcohol free stout.

Another side note: do not try non-alcoholic wine. Every non-alcoholic wine I tried tasted like it was made in the bottom of a convicted felon’s toilet. You can skip that one. You aren’t missing anything. Maybe in a few years someone will find a way to make non-alcoholic wine that tastes good, but clearly brewers are ahead of vintners in this regard. Right now, non-alcoholic wine tastes like my uncle’s homemade wine, only it won’t make you hallucinate if you have too much.

Second thing, I noticed no real difference in how I felt on a day-to-day basis. This was for both good and bad. The absence of alcohol in my life did not leave me feeling stressed out every day, which was a real concern for me going in because I’m an attorney with two young kids at home. On the other hand, I didn’t really feel like my health got any better. If anything, I probably gained weight because I started snacking more, which I really shouldn’t be doing during Lent.

I guess that leads me to one of the things about alcohol I actually missed, being able to go out and celebrate something. Food really doesn’t do that for me in this regard. Beer really just hits the spot when you need to reward yourself for getting through a tough day, particularly a high-class beer like a good barleywine or a triple IPA.

On the plus side, I didn’t feel as much guilt if I cracked open a non-alcoholic beer a little earlier in the evening right after work. My wife generally doesn’t like the smell of beer, and I try to start late at night if I’m imbibing. One of these things is ameliorated by non-alcoholic beer. My wife still doesn’t like the smell, but I feel better having a non-alcoholic beer at 5:30 with dinner.

Why not give it up completely? Other than the fact that it would be awkward to become a teetotaler after writing a book called Beer Run, I just enjoy beer. Is it good for you? No, but a lot of great things in life aren’t good for you. Cheese and cured meats. Rare steaks. French fries. If I gave them all up, I could live another ten years, which I would mostly spend drooling in a nursing home my children refuse to visit because it smells. No thanks. I’ll just have fun and let my heart explode at 70. Doctors may lecture me, but the good people at the CBO trying to figure out how to make social security work will probably send me a thank you card.

By the way, now that I’ve got two books, I probably need to promote them a little different. Here’s a link to Beer Run: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BLSVRZN5

Here’s a link to Beer Run II: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CW1FWB32/

Here’s a link to Solstice Publishing: Solstice Publishing Home (solsticeempire.com)

Hello again. It’s been an exciting week with Beer Run II coming out. I think I nearly forgot to mention that I have now gotten a second independent book store to carry Beer Run. Plot Twist books will now carry copies of Beer Run. Hopefully, I can get both Plot Twist Books and Scapegoat Books to carry the sequel as well.

Speaking of that, I thought I’d post a copy of the book cover for Beer Run II below.

After months of waiting, it has finally arrived: Beer Run II is available on Amazon. Simply check this link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CW1FWB32/

Also, you can find this book, and my original book, on the website of Summer Solstice, my publisher: Solstice Publishing Home (solsticeempire.com). My thanks to everyone at Solstice Publishing who made this possible. ds

Finally, I’ve convinced another local bookstore to sell Beer Run, the original. Plot Twist Books in South Charleston, WV will start stocking copies of Beer Run this weekend. It’s been a banner week here on the nock. I hope it will be a long-fruitful partnership.

I hope you all give Beer Run II a chance.

Hello, everyone, it’s been a while since I last posted. That’s due to the fact that I only have so much creativity at one time, and pretty much all of it has been used writing a new novel, which I have just completed the first draft of. It’s a completion of the idea I had talked about earlier on this blog about a world where people have virtual families in the cloud. My obsession is somewhat sated now that I have a first draft at approximately 80,000 words.

More importantly, I have an update for Beer Run II: The Great Reckoning. We’ve moved past the editing stage and have selected a cover for the book. I don’t have a finalized cover yet, or a finalized draft, but it’s coming down the pipe. As a summary of the story, the Lunatics, a Xenophobic group of populists, are convinced by an online conspiracy theory that Bill is a cannibal. To investigate the possibility of a lawsuit, Bill’s lawyer hires Bill’s intern, Jimmy, to look into Cody Duncan, the presumptive leader of the movement. Jimmy finds Cody to be a con artist, the kind he admires, but as he goes deeper undercover, Jimmy loses himself in his role and soon finds himself on the wrong side of the con.

I will update later as the book approaches publication date. Thanks for checking in.

We’re going to try another new feature here on the Nook: Citation Needed. Citation Needed is a column where we explore unique “factual” claims that could perhaps use better support. Let’s get started.

***

There’s an active debate among historians as to whether Shakespeare was a real person. Sure, there’s the fact that we know he was a real person from commonly kept records at the time, and all the documentary evidence appears to favor him being the author of the plays attributed to him. But how could a commoner like Shakespeare both know and understand the complex life of the royal court? How could such great plays be written by someone with little education from dirt poor Stratford? Frankly, how could a man who came from nothing write beautiful plays that spoke to the human condition?

The answers to these questions are simple: Williams Shakespeare had telepathy. It explains everything. The lack of education? That can be solved if you know how to read minds. Knowledge of royal courts? He might not have been allowed in the royal court, but he was definitely interacted with people who were. Just read their minds, and you know everything. Who knows more about the human condition than a man who’s seen the inside of everyone’s mind? Nobody.

It explains so much. How else could Shakespeare write such beautiful sonnets about beautiful women and a mid-summer’s day? Keep in mind, this is England, which has little of either of those. Maybe he met a Frenchman once. How could an uneducated tradesman understand the motivations of a king like Henry V? What? You think a man like Henry V was a man like any other, as if some nobody could understand him? Would a man with no education ponder what it means to exist like Hamlet? No, without a university degree, the most complicated thoughts you will ever have concerning human existence are worrying about whether your live-in girlfriend is pregnant right after you get laid off from the 7-Eleven. The only way Billy Shakespeare could write these amazing works of art is through the power of telepathy.

Now, you might ask what documentary evidence I have of this. None. But the only alternative is to believe that people who have no formal degrees in the fine arts or even any formal education are fully capable of creating great art, which is a prospect I can’t handle. Or that Shakespeare’s plays were written by Francis Bacon or Edward de Vere, but the people who believe that are nuts.

Sorry for not posting. I’ve been working on a new novel that’s really going pretty well. That and things have been Hell at work. I’ve decided to try a new series here on the nook: Unreliable Narrator.

***

Alright, here’s what I saw at the big game. After the coin flip, which the Chiefs won, Taylor Swift turned into a massive and ancient Red Dragon, which swooped down upon the San Francisco sideline and roasted the entire lineup, leaving nothing but devastation and destruction in her wake. The 49ers tried to flee with their lives in vain, but Swifty the Great and Terrible quickly tracked each one of them down and gobbled them up.

We then went to commercial break where the CEO of Budweiser brand unzipped his pants and pissed into a Bud Light can on camera before giving the audience the middle finger and saying, “Fuck you.” This was followed by a commercial for an online service called “It’s Legal” that can create AI-generated images of…things.

We come back to the game in the second quarter, where Swifty the Great has now abandoned the stadium and flown to San Francisco to satiate her wrath. Flying through downtown, Swifty knocks down the skyline, one by one, with her powerful wings. She roasts the Mission district with her fiery breath. The flames spread across the city as Swifty perches on the golden gate bridge and roars, shattering windows across the entire bay area and even as far as Monterrey. The city of San Francisco sinks into the sea.

The halftime show features the use of newly discovered resurrection technology, as the zombified corpses of Kurt Corbain, Jimi Hendrix, and Amy Winehouse take center stage. Fans are amazed, though some religious viewers see this a sign of the Armageddon. However, the amazement ends when the reanimated body of Prince arrives and attempts to undress Winehouse on stage.

The second half begins with Swifty flying up and down the state of California, destroying 49ers fans wherever she may find them. Swifty conspicuously avoids Southern California cities Los Angeles and San Diego, which have their own teams. Greedy owners wanting stadium deals approve. This creates an online conspiracy theory that Swifty’s appearance is really a false flag operation between city governments and NFL owners. It’s the most intelligent conspiracy theory concerning Taylor Swift this month.

Another commercial: this time for Jesus. Jesus himself appears on camera. “Look, I’m not going to try to sugar coat this,” the Lord pleads. “I know recent, and ancient, events may cast doubt on the idea that religion has something positive to offer society. But let’s remember the good parts. Remember that thing I did with the woman who was about to be stoned? Remember your grandma taking you to Church? Nobody’s perfect, other than me, of course, so why are you being so judgmental? Come on, what else are you going to do on Sunday morning? Sleep in?” Weekly church attendance goes down another two percentage points.

The game ends with the Chiefs being declared the winner by the NFL. The league recognizes Kansas City as super bowl champions once again after Swifty flies to New York, New York and lands on their corporate headquarters. Roger Goodell comes out and pays tribute to the almighty dragon, who turns back into Taylor Swift.

“Are you a god?” asks Swift.

Goodell answers in the negative, leading Swift to explode his head using lightning. Chiefs win.

Good news! I have successfully placed Beer Run on the shelves of a bookstore! (Round of Applause) I successfully convinced Chip Smith of Scapegoat Books, located at the Eclectic Goods Market in Dunbar to purchase four copies of Beer Run at a heavy discount. (Very heavy, but still) This is the first time a bookstore has purchased copies for resale. Needless to say, it’s a momentous occasion. Hopefully, it will not be the last. If anyone would like to visit Scapegoat Books, the Eclectic Goods Market is at 1401 Charles Avenue, Dunbar, WV 25064.

I’m eyeing a few other independent bookstores in the area. Hoping to get Beer Run in more stores. If you know of any independent bookstores that would be interested in stocking Beer Run, please let me know.