Another Week in Pandemonium coming your way: June 24-30
June 24, 1947-Local resident Schlumiel Berkowitz spots a UFO just off the eastern coast of Pandemonium Island. His claims are quickly rebutted with the common phrase “There goes Schlumiel again.”
June 25, 1913—Both Stranger and Witch veterans of the Civil War attend the Great Reunion of 1913. Their visit is cut short, as Pandemonium’s delegation devolves into a fist fight that has to be broken up by local authorities.
June 26, 2001—Satanic High Priest Acton Ravenwood attempts to sue J. K. Rowling for plagiarism, claiming the magic in her books is based directly on the rites of the Satanic Temple. Ravenwood is laughed out of court when he cites The Onion as a source.
June 27, 1760—During the French and Indian War, a joint party of Strangers and Witches patrol Cherokee territory as part of the local militia. They are subsequently discovered, ambushed and massacred when two members of the patrol loudly argue over a flask of gin and a piece of salted pork.
June 28, 1870—The U.S. Congress establishes the first four federal holidays: New Years Day, July 4th, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Pandemonium residents start a letter writing campaign to request a special act of Congress to close the local post office on the Winter Solstice as well.
June 29, 1797—Satanic High Priest Beauregard Davis is born, coinciding with a solar eclipse.
June 30, 1688—James II sends a military commander, Jonathon Standish, to Pandemonium in order to bring order to the wayward colony. Alas, the king is overthrown soon thereafter, leading to Standish being boiled alive in town square.
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