Here’s another week in Pandemonium history.

July 22, 1591—An earlier attempt at colonization on Pandemonium Island, then called Diz, is made by a breakaway group from Satanic High Priest Cramner’s coven. They disappear within a year, leaving only one survivor who returns to Europe via a Spanish trading ship, going both deaf and mute.

July 23, 1935—During the height of the Dust Bowl, temperatures in Pandemonium reach 107 degrees on a full moon. Transformed Ze’ev jump fences and cross roadways to dive into the Atlantic Ocean, hoping to get cool.

July 24, 1970—Walter Washington ascends to the position of Field Servant, head pastor of the Church of the Tobacco Fields. Washington’s controversial term as pastor sees him making contacts with groups such as the Black Panthers and the Weather Underground and ends with Washington starting his own church and ideal community. Freetown, meant to be a utopia, tragically ends in suicide of hundreds of people.

July 25, 1861—In response to the First Battle of Bull Run, the U.S. Congress passes a declaration stating that the Union was fighting the Civil War to preserve the Union, not abolish slavery. In Pandemonium, the Town Council, dominated by Witches, passes a resolution stating they were fighting for slavery, regardless of what those abolitionist Yankees were lying about this week.

July 26, 1953—South Carolina State Highway Patrolmen pull over a car suspected of carrying moonshine whiskey, only to find the trunk holds nothing but a handful of rabbits in cages. The driver is none other than Satanic High Priest Blaise Jackson, transporting sacrificial victims for the weekly rituals back to Pandemonium from his hunting lodge in the hills.

July 27, 1658—Pastor of the Stranger Church, John Winthrop, visits the Iroquois while returning to Pandemonium from his theological tour of the American colonies. There he takes notes on their worship of the Great Spirit and the Good Spirit. When asked to describe his village, Winthrop explains that where he lives, half of the people worship the Good Spirit and half of the people worship the Evil Spirit. The Iroquois are skeptical anyone would worship the Evil Spirit, for fear of attracting the Flying Head.

July 28, 1784—Upon America’s victory over Britain, Pandemonium amends the Bargain to formally allow Strangers and Witches to cross the Line without fear of punishment. Previously, it had been a capital offense to be on the wrong side of the Line, though that rule had been regularly ignored, with housewives often crossing the line to borrow a cup of flour.