Here we are! This Saturday, Oct. 19, I will be at Booth 502 at the West Virginia Book Festival at Charleston Coliseum and Convention Center all day with physical copies of Beer Run and Beer Run II on sale for $15. I’d love to meet anyone who is able to come out. Here’s this week in Pandemonium.

October 14, 1972—Pandemonium holds its first Columbus Day parade. Stranger pastor Todd Whitfield makes a speech in the town square noting that Christopher Columbus has a mixed record in the treatment of Native Americans. Despite Pandemonium having virtually no Italian population, a host of angry Italian-Americans descend upon Whitfield, seemingly out of nowhere, and berate him with a chorus of “Whatsamattawityou?”

October 15, 1965—Hanlon Davis, born a Witch, participates in an anti-Vietnam war rally and becomes the first person in American history to be arrested for burning a draft card. The judge gives Davis the choice between going to Vietnam or jail, and Davis oddly chooses service. He dies three weeks into his tour on a patrol near Da Nang.

October 16, 1638—Cramner University, home of the Red Devils, is founded by the Pandemonium Witch Community. Cramner, one of the oldest, educational institutions in American history, goes on to become a major research university and a site of historical relevance. They also have one hell of a football team.

October 17, 1983—Little Dorothy Franklin, a two-year-old Stranger, falls down a well, leading to nationwide news coverage and a statewide rescue effort. Dorthy is rescued after 48-hours, bringing an end to a horrid ordeal that left many people across the country wondering: “Who the Hell owns a well these days?”

October 18, 1775—Fieldhand poet David Jordan is freed from slavery. Wheatley wrote a book of poetry, published anonymously in London, which would be praised by figures such as Benjamin Rush and Alexander Hamilton. The proceeds of Jordan’s work were collected by his master, who compensated Jordan with his freedom. Jordan would leave South Carolina, move to New York, and work as a carpenter as his later poems never sold.

October 19, 1781—The British surrender at Yorktown, paving the way for the Treaty of Paris recognizing America as a sovereign nation. The Witches of Pandemonium celebrate with a victory orgy, right in front of the town meeting hall.

October 20, 2004—Scandal strikes Pandemonium as it is discovered that Benjamin Abelman, a Ze’ev ice cream shop owner, is found to be at the center of a drug ring spanning the eastern seaboard. He is later acquitted upon a finding of entrapment, though many ask how he could be entrapped into being a drug kingpin. Abelman would respond “When I do a job, I do it well.”