Happy Dr. King’s Day everyone! I assume that like me you are all snowed in! Try to celebrate the best you can, anyway, with playoff football, snowball fights, and indoor comfort food!

January 20, 1783—Great Britain signs preliminary articles of peace with the Kingdom of France, paving the way for an end to the American war of Independence. The Witches celebrate as the Strangers mourn, leading to a five-day party draining most of the city’s beer and hard cider. When the Witches ask the Strangers to fetch more, the Strangers bring back barrels of piss and vinegar, which the inebriated Witches stupidly drink, making themselves sick.

January 21, 1977—President Carter pardons hundreds of thousands of men who evaded the draft during the Vietnam War. On an unrelated note, future Satanic High Priest Acton Ravenwood comes home to take a position as assistant Satanic High Priest under Alistair Grimsley, having spent the last seven years in Ontario, attempting to corner the lucrative Maple syrup market.

January 22, 1992—Cramner University is on the receiving end of a bomb sent by Ted Kacynski, the infamous Unabomber. The bomb detonates in the University’s engineering department, killing Prof. Jacob Smythe and injuring his assistant. Kacynski is later caught, tried, and sentenced to a life in prison. The manifesto he sends to the New York Times famously refers to Cramner’s history of Satanism, noting that any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from black magic.

January 23, 1983—In cooperation with the Second Satanic Temple, Wham-O produces a flying broom toy that vibrates when a button is pushed. However, this toy is quickly recalled when market research discovers that the toy is disproportionately bought by teenage girls.

January 24, 1781—Francis Marion, the “Swamp Fox,” raids Georgetown, South Carolina, capturing three officers. Among Marion’s men are three Witches from Pandemonium. The captured officers refuse to talk until the Witch militia men make them stare into a campfire that turns a dark shade of green.

January 25, 1897—In imitation of Nellie Bly, James White, reporter for the Pandemonium Lament, attempts to circumnavigate the globe in 60 days, setting sail from Charleston on this date. At first, he appears to have succeeded, but questions are raised when his journal includes an encounter with a genie in Egypt and reports that Korean people have insect wings “not unlike fairies.” Witnesses later come forward reporting that the boat White left on turned around a day afterwards and that White was seen hanging out in a Charleston bar under an assumed name.

January 26, 1966—Pandemonium native Barry “the Warlock” Schmidt begins his professional wrestling career with the American Wrestling Association, training under Verne Gagne. Schmidt, a classic heel, played up his hometown connection to a city made infamous for witchcraft. This is odd to Pandemonium locals as Schmidt grew up as a Ze’ev, not as a Witch. Schmidt has a thirty-year career, notable for his inability to perform on a full moon.