I am unhappy to provide the Foreword to this pack of lies the “author” calls a novel. I am certainly happy he is calling this a fiction book, as nothing could be further from the truth as to how he portrays yours truly and certain recent events: namely, how I lost my job as Satanic High Priest of the Second Satanic Temple of Pandemonium. Now, if only the publishers would cancel and withdraw this fairy tale from the market, I could be truly satisfied. If things had gone my way, these hardened criminals at I Ain’t Your Marionette Press and their ringleader, John Willems, would be bankrupt for publishing this filth. Unfortunately, my attorney tells me this is not an option, but he was able to convince those scoundrels to allow me to write this short rebuttal.

            The reader may be prejudiced against me for theological reasons. Yes, I was the Satanic High Priest of that august institution in Pandemonium for several decades, and that may cause some people in this predominantly Christian country to takes sides against me. However, I beg you to look at the facts: we haven’t committed human sacrifice in 400 years, no one in our congregation thinks Witchcraft works, and I don’t even believe in Satan. We continue to perform the Satanic Rituals in Pandemonium for the sake of tradition. Or we did until my traitorous assistant and those fools on the Board of Trustees kicked me out and replaced the Satanic Rituals with a dog and pony show! That’s the real story here: betrayal. Satan betraying God. Judas betraying Christ. Benedict Arnold. Lord Haw Haw and Axis Sally. None of them have anything on Alistair Davis and that Witch mother of his, Delilah.

            Not that you would understand that from reading this book. No, from what Mr. Willems would tell you, I was a bad Satanic High Priest, getting drunk at the ritual and shooting my coven in the face with blanks. I dedicated my life to this one-horse town, performing that stupid ritual over and over again, only to be portrayed as some kind of unserious drunk and bad faith dealer. Willems’ depiction of the conspiracy against me in a positive light only proves he’s in on it, no doubt working hand in hand with the Davis family to wrench control of the Second Satanic Temple from my management.

            Yeah, there’s a lot of other stuff in this “novel” pertaining mostly to Miles Simon buying the Stranger Church and resurrecting a theocratic vampire to cheat people out of their money. I vaguely remember that happening. What those odd people on the north side of town do is of little concern to me, except for the fact that Mr. Willems uses this story line as yet another opportunity to libel me. The idea that I would agree to curse a man for money. Ridiculous. To do that, I’d have to believe in magic.

            My advice to you: go back to whatever bookstore you bought this silly book at and demand your money back. Don’t participate in this defamation of me and the wider Pandemonium community. Our ancestors have worked hard over the course of four centuries to give this town a good reputation despite the common, lazy prejudice that worshiping pure evil has some kind of effect on your behavior. Don’t swallow propaganda clearly put out by the Davis family to make themselves look good at my expense. Come to think of it, find every copy of this book you can find and burn it. Don’t pay for them either. Sure, you get arrested, but that’s a small price to pay to prevent these slanders from seeing the light of day.

                                                                                                           Insincerely Yours,

                                                                                                          Acton Ravenwood