Tag: science-fiction

Hailey Phillips Escapes the Terran Birdcage-Work in Progress

June 29th, 2025

Before I really start promoting Christmas in Pandemonium, I figure I should talk about my other Work in Progress: Hailey Phillips Escapes the Terran Birdcage. It’s a 54,000-word novel set in 2199 when 16-year-old Hailey Phillips starts her first day at San Francisco Astronautics Academy. Hailey’s wanted to explore space since she was four, but her first day at school throws her for a loop when she discovers an alien named Ricou on the surface of Titan. Hailey learns that her elders have always known that intelligent life exists outside their solar system. However, Earth’s Global Governing Council has agreed not to travel outside their solar system to avoid offending the great Paiva Empire which is forbidden from conquering “primitive” species by intergalactic treaties. Hailey begins to see Earth through a different set of eyes: a world that has agreed to limit its own technological, social, and moral development in order to placate a powerful Empire that surrounds it.

Hailey makes a rash decision, as sixteen-year-olds are wont to do, and hitches a ride with Ricou out of the solar system, hoping to make it to the Flipto Confederation, a “free” polity outside the boundaries of the Paiva Empire, leaving Earth behind to live a free life on a foreign world. While her parents mourn her inevitable(?) death, Hailey dodges Killer Furball assassins and siphons anti-matter from alien motherships to get herself across the border and start a new life in the Flipto Confederation. Will Hailey survive? Or will she be captured and tortured to death by the Paiva, a race of gigantic bugs with a hankering for conquest and fresh meat?

Right now, the novel is in the Alpha Reading stage, with my Dad acting as the Alpha Reader. It’s about 54,000 words–a little short for a science fiction, but I’m aiming for a young adult market. Tell me what you think of the concept. I’ll start promoting Pandemonium in earnest on the July 4th weekend.
Andor is Better than Discovery, but Star Trek is still better than Star Wars

May 18th, 2025

A few weeks ago, when doing my fake timeline for May the Fourth (what did you actually think I watched 10 movies in one day? How?), I noted my prior opinion that Star Trek is better than Star Wars, mostly because it is more consistent than Star Wars in providing solid, non-cringe inducing entertainment, but also because it actually deals in themes that are more relevant to modern life. Star Wars is a romantic fairy tale whereas Star Trek deals with more practical questions like curing some mysterious illness or solving a violent conflict between two warring groups. This isn’t to say Star Wars is bad. The Original Trilogy is the greatest movie series of all time, but after that the quality drops off dramatically. Indeed, since Disney took over, the product has been infamously hit and miss.

However, when Disney does something right with Star Wars, we should acknowledge that, and they’ve done something right with Andor. I just finished the show. What can you say: it’s fun show with realistic characters that keeps your attention throughout. It shows both a side of the rebellion and a side of the Empire we’ve never seen before. For the rebellion, the show reveals the underhanded, kind of shady part of creating, funding, and recruiting for an underground insurgency. For the Empire, it shows the machinery of the Empire guided not by Sith malice but by petty bureaucratic politics conducted by emotionally damaged people. And it does action scenes so well, I feel like I should have been taking notes.

I also recently finished watching Star Trek Discovery. It’s okay. That’s what I’ve got to say about it. Nothing Star Trek should be ashamed of, but not at the same level as Deep Space Nine or The Next Generation. Picard was good too, but it could have some cringeworthy moments such as when the Borg ask to join the Federation or the end where only old people can save us. Most episodes of Discovery are worth watching, but it’s weird at times because of the lengths they go to make the crew explicitly “found family.” The crew of the Enterprise in the prior series were like that, but they never had to say it out loud. Also, there are really awkward moments were everyone just kind of smiles at each other. I think they were trying to model a better kind of workplace, which I appreciate but this just comes across as weird. It’s like a lot of the show is about workplace drama, but it engages in a flaw that is admittedly one of Star Trek’s weaker points: imagining humanity as if it were perfect. Other people have pointed out that in Andor, characters act out of envy and greed like normal people, whereas in Star Trek, Starfleet officers are forced to take vacations. Not how public servants typically act.

Does this mean Star Wars has overtaken Star Trek in my estimation? No. It just means that one part of Star Wars, a massive franchise dating back to 1977, is more enjoyable than Star Trek, another massive franchise going back to the 1960s. Disney’s done well with the Mandalorian, Skeleton Crew, and Andor, but keep in mind this is the same studio that brought you the Acolyte and the Book of Boba Fett. I do think they’ve been more consistent making shows than movies, but that isn’t saying much after the last three movies they’ve produced. Star Trek continues to be consistent, producing quality television and more often than not, decent movies. I’m really looking forward to Season 3 of Strange New Worlds.

Nope, Star Wars is still that couple that had a whirlwind romance in the Riveria and thirty years later still has to go to marriage counseling. They haven’t given up, but they still can’t reignite the initial spark that brought them together. Star Trek is still that cute couple that met at the Comic Book store and thirty years later is making plans to take their grandkids around the country in an RV. We all have our ups and downs, but it’s better to have stability in life than high peaks followed by dramatic falls into the depth. I hope Disney keeps guiding Star Wars on a more consistent path, and maybe that means they should dump making more movies, at least until they can prove some level of competence at it.
Unreliable Narrator: May the Fourth

May 5th, 2025

As you all know, yesterday was May the Fourth, which is unofficially Star Wars Day. I have explained in the past that I think Star Trek is better than Star Wars for a host of reasons: it’s more consistent, it deals with the real problems our society actually deals with rather than appealing purely to emotion, it’s just better world building, etc. That being said, I do not hate Star Wars, so I decided to watch all nine movies yesterday rather than be a productive citizen, and I have produced a short review for each in order of release date.

Episode IV: A New Hope—What can be said that hasn’t already? It’s the reinvention of the Hero’s Journey. Luke Skywalker is like King Arthur pulling the sword from the stone. All the themes are there. The wise old mentor. The evil tyrant. The virtuous princess. The robotic slaves. Oh…wait, we’re not supposed to talk about that. Yeah, droids are slaves. They are clearly sentient, and they openly talk about being owned by organic people. I mean, C3PO and R2-D2 don’t appear to be mad about being slaves. They’re very loyal to Massah Luke. Anyway, Luke and his friends join the Rebel Alliance, blow up the Death Star, and strike a blow for freedom…for some people at least.

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back—Inarguably the best movie in the series and containing the greatest plot twist in movie history. Of course, I’m talking about Boba Fett being revealed as a minor side character who doesn’t do much of anything rather than the badass as represented in fan forums. My Dad once explained to me that Boba Fett doesn’t say much, but he does a lot. My Dad’s a lousy liar. Boba Fett barely gets off the couch before being dispatched like a bitch in the next movie. Come at me, Boba fans.

Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi—The end of the original series and the one original trilogy movie hardcore fans will say is just “okay.” This begins the long-term relationship that Star Wars fans have with their own favorite movies: an initial whirlwind romance followed by a loveless marriage where both parties struggle to rekindle that initial passion rather than working on doing the things that actually sustain a relationship. This is how the honeymoon period ends: with Ewoks.

Episode I: The Phantom Menace–A man in blackface and a man in yellow face (think Charlie Chan) step into the screen and start giving you a lecture concerning politics and international trade. Halfway through, a ten-year-old boy walks on to the stage and starts shouting lame slogans such as “This is Pod Racing!” Then, a really impressive lightsaber fight happens over the course of ten minutes. You are left wondering whether this last part made the rest of the “movie” worth watching, and the answer is no.

Episode II: Attack of the Clones—We watch two robots, not C3PO or R2, fall in love while talking about politics. Meanwhile, Ewan MacGregor discovers an army being created for the Republic that the Republic didn’t ask for or was even aware of. Later, this same army comes to the rescue, and nobody asks any questions or has any problem relying on them to win a war. More fan service occurs.

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith—The one prequel movie the fans will say is just “okay” rather than gobsmackingly awful. We learn how democracy dies to thunderous applause and how a single soul can be lost to the dark side. People at the time thought George Lucas was making a comment about democracy in the age of Bush. Much like Idiocracy, it actually said a lot more about the time we live in today than the time the movie was made. Unlike Idiocracy, it doesn’t feature Crocs. Movie is good, but could have been better if we actually saw Jar-Jar get zapped by the Emperor.

Episode VII: The Force Awakes—J.J. Abrams stands in front of the screen with a projector and just plays the Original Star Wars movie while turning up the volume. This is considered the best of the sequel trilogy. Widely thought of as being “okay.”

Rogue One: Probably the best Star Wars movie since the Original Trilogy. Notable for not opening with the descending words, creating a group of original, likeable characters, and a final scene meant to approximate actual warfare. Essentially, the people who made this movie stopped being self-referential and indulging in fan service and instead asked how they could make an actual good movie that just happened to be set in the Star Wars universe.

Episode VIII: The Last Jedi—Rian Johnson takes all the lessons learned by Rogue One and burns them all in a bum’s oil drum outside the studio. Rather than creating original characters people like, he creates original characters people hate like Finn’s new Asian girlfriend and that admiral with purple hair. He then shits all over Luke and Leia so people hate them now too. Luke spends the movie reminding us how much we hated the prequels. We spend a lot of time in some bizarre casino, then go back to the Imperial battleship that was following the Rebel fleet the whole time. Nothing is ever accomplished. Critics loved this movie for subverting people’s expectations. Fans hated this movie because, for some reason no one can fathom, they still expect a movie with the name “Star Wars” to be good.

Solo: A Star Wars Movie—Please don’t make me watch this.

Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker—Unlike the Last Jedi, this movie was loved by fans and hated by critics, at least at first. Later, fans realized J.J. Abrams gave them exactly what they wanted, and it sucked. Emperor Palpatine is resurrected from the dead because we have no faith in the ability of the Sequel trilogy characters carrying this thing on their own. Kylo Ren wants to kill/convert/have sex with Rey the whole time. The Resistance, which was completely abandoned by the galaxy last movie, just has people show up out of nowhere with no organization or incentive to assault the Sith home world. The Knights of Ren show up for two minutes, die, and no one cares. Abrams retcons Rey’s parents because he had a gun pointed to his head, apparently.

And there you go, that’s Star Wars. May the Fourth be with you.

Tag: science-fiction

Hailey Phillips Escapes the Terran Birdcage-Work in Progress

Andor is Better than Discovery, but Star Trek is still better than Star Wars

Unreliable Narrator: May the Fourth