Hey, if you’ve tried to sell a book before, then chances are you’ve traded review with people, and if you’ve traded reviews with people, you’ve had to hold your nose and give five stars to book that couldn’t even bother to spell its own title correctly. In honor of that, I’ve decided to start a series of such reviews.

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The Adventures of Duncan Crockett is an unconventional, post-modern story that some might call “nonsensical,” “dumb,” or “exploitative.” However, pull the veil back, and you will find a stark expose of the tropes of Christian Romance novels. Duncan Crockett, clearly an exaggerated archetype, is an ex-Navy Seal who personally shot Osama Bin Laden and now hunts down human traffickers for free. (He lives off his great personal wealth made by selling his own line of hunting equipment.) The story follows how he meets his wife by rescuing her from Jeffery Epstein’s private island.

That plot line is evidently absurd, which is why no one is supposed to take this book seriously. Clearly, this is some kind of joke. I mean, the author is clearly a skilled humorist, as he paints an absurd world where human traffickers try to randomly kidnap beautiful women waiting in line outside a movie theater. Crockett saves his wife from the clutches of her captors by vaporizing them with his heat vision. At the climax, Crockett discovers a world-wide sex slavery ring run by Nancy Pelosi. I mean, clearly it’s an act of satire. That’s why it’s so brilliant.

And as satire, it’s hilarious. Crockett kill 50 sex traffickers with his bare hands and then eats them. When he and his wife have sex on their honeymoon, angels visit them and bless their union by joining them. The angels are said to look exactly like “Reese Whitherspoon in Legally Blonde” and “Chevy Chase’s wife in Vacation.” The government doesn’t solve the human trafficking problem because they’ve all been hypnotized by Satanic powers, who have also gotten to Wall Street and Hollywood. No one could really believe this stuff.

The one place I would caution the author is with his explicit portrayal of racial stereotypes. I won’t repeat them here, but this book does contain very uncomfortable portrayals of blacks, Latinos, Jews, East Asians, Indians, Native Americans, immigrants, Arabs, Muslims, Jews again, East Europeans, Russians, and the Dutch. Now, I don’t hold this against the author, as clearly these ugly caricatures were meant to push the boundaries of good taste. That being said, others, hell, most, might find these portrayals to be offensive.

Overall, I give this book five stars. It’s an excellent book, once you understand it’s a satire. Yes, I know some of you in the comments are telling me its real, but you lack the trained eye to know a joke when you see one. Whoever wrote this is a comic genius.