• Don’t Fall for NYC Silent Book Club Scam

    Hey, we’ve got a lot of stuff in the works such as an interview about Christmas in Pandemonium and different formats. Today I’d like to post a warning, not an ad, however.

    Silent Book Clubs are local organizations that encourage people to read more and often feature local authors. However, they rarely feature authors from other parts of the world or country and never ask for a fee. This is important to know because someone has been impersonating the head of the NYC Silent Book Club and asking people for fees to be featured as part of their “weekly discussion.” This is a scam, as the Silent Book Club does not accept fees in return for spotlighting authors. You can read about it here:

    https://silentbook.club/pages/caution-scammers-are-impersonating-silent-book-club

    I nearly fell for this scam, which is embarrassing as I should know better at this point, but the internet is like a dangerous back alley behind the Mos Eisley Cantina where someone’s trying to sell you drugs. If you have to be there, watch yourself. Thankfully, my publisher, I Ain’t Your Marionette Press, caught this before I made the mistake of sending these band of thieves $300 to reserve a “spot” that doesn’t exist.

    This guy is using the picture and name of the actual head of the NYC Silent Book Club (“Thomas”). The picture is available on the web and could easily have been swiped. They first made contact with me on Twitter. I’ve reported them to Twitter, as they are a scam. Hopefully, Elon and the keystone cops catch up to these people.

    This just goes to a point I’ve made before. Paid promotion is a scam. Authors shouldn’t need to pay someone to promote their book. They need to help promote each other’s books. Like Kent Wayne, whose book, A Door into Evermore, I recently reviewed on Amazon and Goodreads. It’s a great young adult fantasy novel, I highly recommend. You may have heard of his blog, DirtySciFiBuddha. That’s how to promote a book. Don’t give any money to people on the internet you’ve never met.

  • Christmas in Pandemonium: One Week In

    Hello, everyone! It’s been a week since Christmas in Pandemonium came out. If you haven’t bought a copy, here’s the link:

    Yep, I’m pretty proud. It’s been a full week of promotion, sending links to old friends and beta readers, and working all the kinks out of the promotion machine. In the event anyone is interested in meeting little ole’ me and buying a physical copy, I’ll be at the West Virginia Book Festival on October 25, 2025. Please come talk to me. I need all the ego boost I can get.

    In the event anyone has read the book already and has any questions, I’d be happy to answer them. You might not hear much from me in the next month other than for me to keep promoting this book. I’ve got a lot on my plate with this book, and work, and raising two kids. We took little Frankie to his first pre-school basketball practice yesterday. He preferred coloring. Maybe team sports at the age of four is a little premature.

    In any event, please buy Christmas in Pandemonium. I mean please. Pretty please. Please with some sugar on top. Come on. Buy it. Want me to post the link again? Here:

  • Christmas in Pandemonium is Now Available on Amazon!!!!!!!

    The moment I’ve been holding my breath for half a decade has finally arrived: Christmas in Pandemonium is now available on Amazon!

    In this momentous moment, I’d like to thank I Ain’t Your Marionette Press for taking me on, Solstice Publishing for publishing my prior works Beer Runa and Beer Run II, my parents, God, and the universe for putting up with me. I’d like to thank all of the readers of this blog. It’s been a long time coming!

  • Christmas in Pandemonium in the Home Stretch

    Hello, as you may have heard, my novel, Christmas in Pandemonium, may be coming out next week. Here is the link to my author media kit, which I just got from my publisher. https://drive.google.com/file/d/12dL2qBgF5dtsaFeHEB5wwlUV5o_AkBqi/view?usp=sharing

    Wish me luck as we go into the home stretch, and hopefully my next post will be with a link to buy the book.

  • Christmas in Pandemonium Possibly Out Next Week

    Heads Up! I just got word from my publisher, I Ain’t Your Marionette Press, that Christmas in Pandemonium could be available as early as next week. I keep telling you to mark your calendars, but at this point, maybe I should just say keep your eye out, as we apparently can’t make any guarantees as to dates. Not that I’m complaining!

  • New Updates!

    Sorry to bother you again so soon after my last post, but two things have happened to promote my book that I need to talk about. The first is that my book trailer is now out! Which you can’t see here because that requires me to upgrade to premium! But it’s on my Twitter profile! Hooray!

    The other is that I was on a Twitter Podcast called the Cozy Book Nook to talk about Christmas in Pandemonium, along with three other guests. Here is the link to that:

    Play recording: Cozy Book Nook book marketing X Space podcast for authors & poets

    I may have let out some spoilers, but at my level of engagement, all press is good press.

  • Christmas in Pandemonium One Month Out

    We are now a month away from the official publication date of Christmas in Pandemonium: October 15, cynically placed to maximize both the Halloween and Christmas shopping seasons because we are shameless hypocrites here at the Book Nook. I just got confirmation from I Ain’t Your Marionette Press that we are still on schedule, and I should have physical copies for the West Virginia Book Festival on October 25 in Charleston, WV. Come meet me there.

    I figure I should give a recap of what Christmas in Pandemonium is all about for the uninitiated. My story takes place in an imaginary town on the coast of South Carolina called Pandemonium. Pandemonium was founded in the year 1620 by a group of Satan-worshipping Witches who were ferried there by a group of disreputable pirates called the Strangers. The Strangers turn into religious zealots after seeing the Witches commit an act of human sacrifice and then kill a Witch after they land. However, the Witch turns out to be an Indian princess, and now the Stono want to wipe both of them out. The Strangers and Witches put aside their differences and work together to kill the Stono first and then build their town.

    400 years later, the Witches have become the most lackadaisical Satanists you could imagine, replacing human sacrifice with the squishing of a bug. The Strangers have even sold their church off to a crooked televangelist, Miles Simon. Simon discovers Theophilus, a vampire, living in the church’s basement, and offers to pay Theo money to hypnotize his congregation into donating more money. When Theo turns Simon down, the preacher finds another vampire, Theo’s rival Scratch, and resurrects him from the dead to make the same deal. Scratch, however, doesn’t see eye to eye with Simon, and now Theo and the other locals of Pandemonium, have to put him down.

    Please buy a copy. Inflate my ego.

  • Another Complete Distraction from Pandemonium

    I’m supposed to be promoting Christmas in Pandemonium (Coming out October 15!) right now, but I’m supposed to be doing a lot of things right now. Instead, I’m griping about a relatively new phenomenon: Halloween Creep. Yes, you’ve heard of Christmas Creep. This is its ridiculous cousin.

    So, I picked my kid up from daycare on Friday, and I see they’ve already got Halloween decorations out on the front lawn of the daycare…and in the hallways…and in the classrooms. Yesterday, we took the kids to Home Depot, and they’ve already set up a huge display of Halloween decorations (you know, the really creepy ones) towards the front of the store. The Halloween Express has already opened in the mini-mall next to my home. People, we’re a week from Labor Day. People should not be celebrating Halloween this early.

    As you may know if you’ve read this blog before (and if you have, hey Tom) I’ve taken a stand against Christmas creep, which is the practice of celebrating Christmas in November. Previously, I’ve used Halloween as an example of a superior holiday, one which is less coercive and therefore, more fun than the mandatory cheerfulness of Christmas. Then I decided to release a book called Christmas in Pandemonium in October, making me a massive hypocrite. Oh well.

    The problem as I see it is that we are quickly turning Halloween into Christmas insofar as we are celebrating it earlier and earlier every year, for obviously commercial reasons. I don’t think that our premature yard decorations have anything to do with Halloween being declared part of secondary Triduum by the Vatican, do you? This will ruin Halloween through overexposure and subtle cultural pressure to conform much like it ruined Christmas, and much like Thanksgiving couldn’t stop Christmas, Labor Day won’t be able to forestall pumpkin carving in August.

    You can almost see corporate America’s plan now, can’t you? Did you notice that they start hanging American flags everywhere almost immediately after Easter? Oh, they say it’s for VE Day, which gives them a good excuse to leave them up until VJ Day. With the 4th of July, Memorial Day, and now Juneteenth in between, we may as well call Summer the patriotic months and just get used to corporations selling us Red, White, and Blue paper plates, nick-nacks, and stuffed bears for a solid four months.

    That’s not even getting into Easter, where they start selling you the Bunny-themed material in February, or what used to be called Lent rather ironically. With Christmas beginning in November and ending mid-January, all you need is Valentine’s Day for a month (sorry St. Patrick) and now the retailers have gotten us into permanent holiday mode. Hell, maybe even Valentine’s Day will get phased out, and then you have four holiday seasons, covering the entire year, approximately three months each. The Four and Half Holidays of the Shopocalypse will soon dominate American Culture.

    We don’t need longer holiday seasons; we need more holidays with more traditions. Unfortunately, while Capitalism has a lot of advantages, it has the disadvantage of steering popular culture to whatever marketing executive think will make the most money. I think we need to claw back a healthier holiday culture.

    Also, buy Christmas in Pandemonium on October 15!

    Shameless, just shameless.

  • A Brief History of the Island and Town of Pandemonium Part IV

    Thanks again to SJackson, whose real name is Mary Schmidt, for the Beer Run review. You all should look up Mary’s work. I recently read “Her Alibi” and it isn’t bad. Here’s the last part of our brief history of Pandemonium:

    The 1970s and 1980s were periods of change for the city of Pandemonium.  Alister Grimsley began a reform within the Satanic Temple to dispatch with the need of a literal Satan.  Satan was now a metaphor for worldly success, and worship was merely a means to an end in this.  In modern capitalist society, there are better ways to achieve worldly power than sacrificing a goat at 3 am on a Sunday.  Witch society would concentrate on raising children to pursue ambitious careers with the same reckless abandon that Cramner and his followers pursued Earthly power on their own terms.  Most Witches were happy with this change, as few of them really believed in the existence of Satan.  However, as time went on, fewer and fewer of the Witches actually attended the Satanic ceremonies.  If Satan was not real, why was it necessary?  Those that did attend increasingly gave reasons such as “tradition” or “I grew up in this temple.”

                Following Whitfield’s death, the Strangers took a different tact.  The Witches’ faith was about Earthly power, which could be accomplished without any resort to worship at all.  The Strangers claimed to be a Christian church, however, and the rejection of their community by the wide Christian world left them deeply shaken.  In addition to this, a new study by Cramner University disturbed the Stranger community greatly.  In the hey days of the turbulent 1970s, the youth of the community started to engage in certain activities disapproved of by their elders: drugs, pre-marital sex, and loud music.  Researchers at Cramner did a survey of teenagers in the 1970s and found that drug use, sexual activity, and crime rates were higher among the Stranger youth than among the Witch youth.  Add to this the fact that the Stranger part of town became notorious in the same decade for hosting the town’s only pornographic theater, and the Strangers were forced to confront the question of what they really believed for the first time in 300 years.

    In light of these developments, finding a replacement turned out to be more difficult than expected.  The elders of the church interviewed one churchman after another, but many expressed doubts about their faith similar to the Witches about whether God existed, whether God favored this church, or even if the Stranger Church deserved to exist.  After the negative reception that Pandemonium received in the 1950s upon the Witches’ coming out, recruiting an outsider for a pastor was virtually impossible. 

    Just when it appeared that all hope was lost, a young man all the way from County Antrim in Ulster called the Stranger Church specifically to say he wanted the job.[1]  Surprised to receive aid from so far away but delighted to have an interested candidate, the trustees of the church invited Atticus MacDonald for an interview, paying for his flight.  MacDonald did not disappoint, as he aced the interview, indicating both a real grasp of theology and presence on the pulpit.  MacDonald began his life as a Presbyterian, but later in life entertained doubts about the doctrine of double predestination and soon had to leave the Reformed church tradition.  He had been educated at Trinity College in Dublin and had already served five years as a Presbyterian minister in Belfast.  This made him a perfect fit for the Strangers, as MacDonald was educated, experienced, and, in a stroke of providence, theologically in line with Robert Winthrop’s practical theology.  MacDonald had only one condition, namely that a male friend of his be allowed to come with him.  This made the elders somewhat nervous, as other religious communities had dealt with the issue of underground homosexuality among their clergy.  When they explained their reservations to MacDonald, he laughed and told them this was not the case between himself and his friend at all.  His friend, you see, had an unusual condition that meant he could not live just anywhere, but could only live on the grounds of a desecrated church.

                “A desecrated church?  What are you implying?” asked one scandalized elder.

                “Excuse me, sir, but as I understand your history, you built your church right on top of the ground where you burned that poor woman to death using the wood of the ship where you decided to commit that heinous act, did you not?” asked MacDonald.

                “Well, yes, I mean, our ancestors did that, but does that make our church desecrated?”

                “I mean no offense,” MacDonald said. “I only hope to do a favor for a friend.”

                MacDonald called in a disheveled, dark-haired young man wearing a black coat and grey scarf, beckoning him to introduce himself to the elders.  The young man called himself Theophilus, or Theo for short, though this was an assumed name, and he spoke with a noticeable but not thick Irish accent, unaffected by any Scottish influence, unlike his Orangeman companion.  He thanked the trustees for having him here and said that he and MacDonald were not “buggerers” as he called them, but rather very good friends who had been through a few scraps together.  Theo promised he would be out of the way, as he was content to sleep in the crypt.  His only requirement being the importation of a few crates of peat bog from “back home,” which he said would help him sleep. The Stranger elders discussed it amongst themselves, and agreed that while this was highly unusual, MacDonald was the best candidate, so as long as this Theo character kept to himself (and perhaps bathed).  MacDonald thanked the elders, and began as pastor in December of 1982.

                Of course, we must briefly consider the tragedy that occurred in Fieldhand church in 1979.  However, once again, this book is written for the purpose of strengthening civic pride.  Having been alive during those times and remembering the great anguish Pastor William Walker’s actions brought to this community, I would argue some things are best left unsaid.  I am sure Pastor Overstreet would agree about this.

                The Ze’ev had their own brief flirtation with fame when a camera crew from a local news station captured a Ze’ev transforming on camera, leading to a Ken Burns documentary about the now famous Ashkenazi sect.  Scientists flocked to Pandemonium to try to find some scientific basis for these famous transformations.  None has ever been forthcoming.  The Rabbi Maharam has speculated that none will ever be found as not everything is within the limits of human reason.

                Finally, this brief history must come to an end, so it may well come to an end with the Author, who succeeded Fr. Grimsley to the position of Satanic High Priest in March of 1997, a position he holds to this very day.  Much like Grimsley before him, the Author sees himself as less a servant of dark powers and more a caretaker of history, which is why he has decided to write this brief history.  Our ancestors’ practices may be offensive to us today, but we stand on their shoulders.

                If the reader fears for the Author’s immortal soul, he or she is entitled to such beliefs, but for what it is worth, the Author does not share the same fears.  He has attended Satanic ceremonies since his birth, either as a congregant or as a celebrant, and nothing has ever occurred. No possessions, no floating objects, no disembodied voices. Nothing happens.  There is nothing to fear, which is why if the reader is in town the Author invites him to our services every Sunday at 10 am.  Few believe in this sort of thing anymore, but the reader can witness a unique historical ceremony with deep roots in America.[2]  The Author, conscious of the fact that he has monopolized this brief history, will now allow the other religious leaders of the community have the final words.

    Pastor Atticus MacDonald of the Stranger’s Church

                I thank my adversary[3] for giving me this space.  His decision to mention my friend Theophilus must sound strange to you, but Fr. Ravenwood has always held a small grudge against me for bringing Theo here.  Theo rubs some people the wrong way.  Fr. Ravenwood commonly refers to my friend as “he who lowers property values.” We at the Strangers’ church have taken it upon ourselves to try to convert Theo and convince him to wear a nice shirt every once in a while.  Alas, neither lesson has stuck, but hope springs eternal.

                I find no serious historical inaccuracies with Fr. Ravenwood’s brief history,[4] only a serious inaccuracy in his description of my theological opinions.  Fr. Ravenwood claims that I was selected for this position because my theology was similar to that of Robert Winthrop.  Nothing could be further from the truth for the very simple reason that I actually hold my beliefs.  Fr. Ravenwood’s brief history makes it clear the Winthrop did not actually believe what he preached.  This is what Fr. Ravenwood means when he says that Winthrop was not seeking to obtain some “metaphysical truth.”  Based on my conversations with him, Fr. Ravenwood appears to be a closer disciple of Winthrop than I am, though I do believe in a creed remarkably similar to the one Winthrop promulgated.  He may have taught better than he knew, which may also be said of the Drunkard. I have been the Pastor of the Stranger Church for 38 years and one thing I have tried to emphasize is that ideas matter.  The way we think the world is shapes the way we behave in it, or at least it ought to.  For this reason, I hope you do not attend Fr. Ravenwood’s service at 10 am this Sunday, or any Sunday.  Come to my church.  Come to Pastor Overstreet’s church.  Have coffee with Rabbi Maharam that Sunday morning.  Sleep in.  Whatever you do, don’t attend a faux worship service for the Devil.  I doubt he will appear, but what will disappear is an hour of your time, and for all you know you don’t have many of them left. Remember death.

    Pastor Darrell Overstreet of the Church of the Tobacco Fields

                Throughout the South, people claim they are defending history.  History is important.  Fr. Ravenwood thinks history is important, and I agree with him.  What causes me dismay is Fr. Ravenwood’s insistence on retelling that history with vast holes in it.  Fr. Ravenwood tells the story of my congregation using the word “slave” only once.  The ship that brought us was involved in “Migration and Importation of Such Persons.”  The unconscionable cruelties of Beauregard Davis are given two footnotes.  Fr. Ravenwood says the Witches offered no resistance to military occupation, but skips over the March Massacre of 1888 where a Witch militia destroyed a thriving African-American business sector out of jealousy and hate.  Jim Crow is barely given word.  Fr. Ravenwood glosses over the long history of segregation and racial violence in this city, the legacy of which remains with us today. 

                Should we move on?  Our faith does not teach us to move on, it teaches us to forgive. Forgiveness, however, must be accepted by the guilty party, and the guilty party will often refuse forgiveness by failing to acknowledge they need it.  I actually know the Davis family quite well.  They are a good family.  I would say a friend of the church, though I have yet to get one of them to join.[5]  Their cooperation was invaluable in allowing Mr. Coleridge to write his book, giving him full access to the old plantation house.  I encourage any visitor to buy his book as a necessary counterbalance to this rosy, whitewashed history produced by Fr. Ravenwood.

    Rabbi Maharam of Temple Ze’ev

                I thank Fr. Ravenwood for giving me this opportunity to welcome potential visitors to our town.  I invite all visitors to Pandemonium to come to the old Ze’ev marketplace and learn the history of a unique immigrant community whose descendants are living the American dream.  We are not the only Jews in the South, but there are few people who can say this unironically: Shalom y’all.  A great deal of this history is dedicated to our monthly transformation, which we received many questions about in the 1990s due to the Ken Burns documentary.  By now, I assumed it was old news.  Yes, if you come during a certain time of the month,[6] you can see quite a show, but that is only one part of our community. 

                One thing to note about Fr. Ravenwood’s brief history, namely the initial plan in 1970 to build the courthouse with only three doors: yes, we objected to three doors being too few while the Fieldhands objected to three doors being too many.  Somehow four doors was just right.  I remember that time, and I remember being insulted at the insinuation that we weren’t real Pandemonians.  Of course, Pastor Whitfield and Fr. Grimsley never meant to insinuate such a thing, they were just forgetful that’s all.  But it was important to correct, because identity is important.  Every man must ask himself, who am I? And because no man is an island,[7] most of the time this means asking, who are we?  The Ze’ev are both citizens of Pandemonium and people separate, set apart.  Thank you for your time, and if you do find yourself on our side of the island, I suggest David’s Chophouse, if you’ve never tried Jewish barbecue.

    Statement by the Diocese of Charleston

                The Diocese of Charleston objects to the publication of this brief history at a time when no priest has currently been selected for St. Michael the Archangel parish.  We mourn Fr. Timothy’s death.  May eternal light shine upon him.  Any invocation of Satan risks summoning the demonic presence.  We condemn Fr. Ravenwood’s actions and any ceremony performed at the Second Satanic Temple to invoke Satan.  A new priest for St. Michael’s will be forthcoming.


    [1] He had heard about the job through an article in the New York Times centered on the now famous church’s troubles in finding a new minister.

    [2] Subject to certain revisions over time such as the replacement of human sacrifice with the crushing of a bug.

    [3] The term Satan means adversary, which is why it is so appropriate our communities have been at loggerhead for so long.  While the Red Devils may have won the last game, Winthrop leads the Blood Bowl series overall 68-60-3.

    [4] There are no inaccuracies, but as Pastor Overstreet makes clear, there may be certain important omissions.  Many of the more elderly members of my church would no doubt blanche at Fr. Ravenwood’s rosy description of Col. Davis’s massacre of surrendering Stranger soldiers, but personally having found Col. Davis to be a more complex historical character than that action would demonstrate, better to leave certain things in the past.  

    [5] As Pastor MacDonald says, “Hope springs eternal.”

    [6] Get your mind out of the gutter.

    [7] Did you like that?  I came up with it myself.

  • Beer Run Review and Part III of A Brief History of the Island and Town of Pandemonium.

    Hey, everyone! S. Jackson has written a review of Beer Run, and since this blog technically exists to promote Beer Run (I mean very technically) I thought I would repost that review here: Beer Run | When Angels Fly. Thank you Ms. Jackson, I really appreciate the visibility.

    Now that I’ve done my perfunctory Beer Run promotion, let’s get back to recounting the history of Pandemonium:

    Any survey of religion before the Revolution would be incomplete without talking about the Fieldhands and their quest to found their own church despite their unfortunate condition. Practitioners of the peculiar institution throughout the American South attempted to carefully control religious ceremonies on their estates, where pastors would preach the virtue of obedience.  However, despite their best efforts, American blacks would often hold their own religious services where African spirituality mixed with Christian concepts, a practice that southern society attempted to limit.  Pandemonium, however, was a very different town from other places in the American South. When Jacob Freeman, a freeman who had participated in these illicit religious ceremonies while on a plantation on the mainland, came to Pandemonium and preached the Christian faith to the Fieldhands in the first time, the Witch establishment could not care less.  The Witch religion centered on Earthly power, which the Witches wanted the Fieldhands to have no part of, so the Witches never tried to convert the Fieldhands to their own faith.  Furthermore, the Satanic High Priest at that time, Cornelius Blackroot, found the Christian religion to teach a “slave morality,” using that term 150 years before Friedrich Nietzsche, which would be most useful in preventing any revolt, and encouraged Witches to allow the Fieldhands to be evangelized.  Jacob Freeman began the Fieldhand religious tradition without even the benefit of a church building, gathering his congregation together on Sunday mornings in the tobacco fields.      

                After the Revolution, the Bargain was amended again to remove any restrictions for either side to move across the line.  This legal change had little practical impact, as the law was rarely enforced, but it did open up the possibility of the Strangers sending missionaries to the Witches, as legal restrictions of freedom of religion were going out of style.  However, evangelizing and just talking about religion in public was going out of style as well, so custom now forbade what the law now allowed just as custom allowed what the law previously forbade. 

                The most significant events in Pandemonium between the Revolution and the end of the Civil War are the revolt of Calvin Johnson in 1831, which led to the death of 250 people, and the destruction of the First Satanic Temple in 1857, which led to the deaths of 496 people.  As a local historian, the Author writes for the purpose of promoting civic pride.  I acknowledge both of these unfortunate events and wish they had not happened. However, dwelling on the past does not help our community move forward. That was a different time and those events do not represent the town we are now.  Other books have been written on this topic that go into further detail if the reader is interested.[1]

                The Civil War changed Pandemonium just as it changed the rest of America.  Residents of Pandemonium served on both sides of the Civil War, none more prominent than CSA Col. Robert Davis, who served under General Robert E. Lee himself at the battle of Gettysburg.  The Witches supported the confederacy throughout the conflict, as their agricultural economy depended on the existence of the South’s current labor force.  The Pro-Union Strangers, on the other hand, rioted when the Confederacy attempted to impose a draft on the area.  A Stranger militia conducted the Revolt of 1865, hoping to aid the Union by creating an enclave behind enemy lines.  This foolish attempt to imitate the mountaineers of West Virginia was quickly crushed by Col. Davis’s own troops.

    After the War of Between the States, the Witch community made the collective decision to establish a sense of Victorian respectability.  The Witches completed the Second Satanic Temple[2] in 1882.  Rather than the underground pit built more than a century earlier, the Second Satanic Temple was a white, rectangular building with Roman columns and a slanted roof with a steeple on top and stained-glass windows.  Any passerby could mistake it for a Baptist Church.  The liturgy changed as well, substituting the sacrifice of a rabbit for the sacrifice of a goat.  America is a great country, and even those outsiders at the furthest reaches want to assimilate.  Unlike a great number in the South, the Witches put up scant resistance to military occupation or Reconstruction, though they were glad to see both come to an end.

                The Fieldhands, it goes without saying, had greatly improved social standing following the war.  The Fieldhands gathered in the Southwest side of the island where Beauregard Davis’s western plantation was and the Witches remained on the Southeast side of the island.  For the first time, the Church of the Tobacco Fields benefitted from having a church building with a roof and four walls, located over the very spot in the tobacco fields where Jacob Freeman began his ministry more than a century before. During Reconstruction, one Fieldhand, Marvin Jackson, served two terms in the South Carolina legislature.

                But by far, the most significant event in Pandemonium to occur in the latter half of the Nineteenth Century was the coming of the Ze’ev.  A fringe Jewish sect from what is now the Czech Republic, the Ze’ev fled persecution in their home country and came to America to make a new life for themselves.  Today, few could imagine our town without the Ze’ev who have produced so many doctors, lawyers, judges, bankers, businessmen, philanthropists, rabbis, professors, and others who have enriched this community so much.  We have learned to tolerate their oddities.  However, when the first members of the Ze’ev arrived on the Northeastern side of the Island on August 12, 1892, the Strangers valued tolerance less than they do now.  Natives of the island looked askance at the haggard refugees wearing rags, carrying all they owned in a sack.  The Ze’ev knew little English, and their religious customs unnerved the Strangers, who had tolerated Witches for more than two and a half centuries and were unlikely to relish the possibility of more unbelievers on the island.  Pastor Peter Whitfield tried to calm down his congregation, concentrating on the Good Book’s passages concerning love and forgiveness.  He told those men that those who live by the sword die by the sword, and if they lived by the sword, they would die by it too.  However, Christianity is a philosophy many identify with but few practice, so the Strangers ignored their Pastor’s pleas to think reasonably and formed a lynch mob of fifty people to go to the Ze’ev one night on a full moon.

                Five of the lynch mob came back alive, covered in large gaping wounds, bleeding profusely from every seam of the body imaginable.  Pastor Whitfield was at a loss for words.  He had hoped that his previous warning would strike a prophetic tone, but in the Christian context prophecy does not equal divination.  However, the Rabbi Eliyahu came to visit a visibly shaken Pastor Whitfield the following morning in order to explain what had happened.  The Rabbi told the Pastor that his people suffered from a blessing and a curse (“For what blessing from the Lord is not also a curse, and what curse from the Lord is not also a blessing?”) that the Lord had bestowed upon them in the old country as a protection from their enemies.  This blessing and curse would come upon all members of the Ze’ev 18 or older who was born to a Ze’ev mother.  Upon every full moon, they would transform into a beast no person would trifle with.  The Ze’ev had immigrated to Pandemonium thinking that the inhabitants would be used to this kind of thing, having lived next to the Witches all these years.

                “It is unfortunate that your men attacked on the full moon,” continued Rabbi Eliyahu. “On any other night they would have taken us defenseless and they would not have died.  But the Lord does protect his chosen people.”

                “I need a stiff drink,” responded Pastor Whitfield.

                You must understand that as far back as the 18th century, the Witches made no claim to perform magic anymore.  Their faith was in seeking Earthly power, both in that they hoped to exercise it on Earth and that the power was native to Earth.  The Strangers were not “used to this kind of thing” and no group of Strangers had such rude awakening since the original Strangers witnessed the first sacrifice aboard the Charon.  However, Pastor Whitfield could not prevent the Ze’ev from settling on Pandemonium, nor could anyone else.  The council met and discussed the matter the following month, and the decision was made that because the Witches and the Fieldhands already lived on the South side of the island, the Strangers would share the North side of the island with the Ze’ev. [3] The Strangers quickly moved out of the Northeastern side of the island until the Ze’ev had that quadrant of the island all to themselves.

                As Pandemonium moved into the Twentieth Century, its economy changed from a port city dependent on tobacco and fishing to a truly diversified economy, fueled by innovation.  Smokestacks and kilns replaced tobacco fields and shipyards, as the Ze’ev started Kosher butcher shops and tailors.  In the Fieldhand part of town, the famous Cleopatra night club was founded, a mecca for jazz performers in the first half of the century. Gradually, residents of the State of South Carolina became aware of the town’s oddities, and the religious practices of the Witches soon transformed from a well-kept secret to a poorly kept one. The State of South Carolina remembered the Witches’ service during the Civil War, and the white community at least had become accustomed to them.  A well-placed donation from the wealthy elites of Witch society didn’t hurt the Witches’ gradual acceptance either. Over fifty citizens of Pandemonium served during World War I, and another hundred served in World War II, which saw Bunim Greenblatt win the Congressional Medal of Honor after dispatching an entire German company during a full moon in Southern France.[4]  The Great Depression brought out the best in Pandemonians, who gave more to charity on average than any city in South Carolina, founding soup kitchens, homeless shelters, and, of course, missions. Many think the highlight of this period was Ms. Bedelia Ravenwood winning the 1943 Quilting Bee, though others disagree. Intermarriage between Strangers and Witches, once unheard of, became common, as were double ceremonies.[5]  When a Stranger boy brought home a Witch girl, or vice versa, his parents would increasingly say he had made a fine choice.  The Pastor of the Strangers actually encouraged this trend, as whenever a mixed marriage came to be, normally the parties would convert to his church and not to the temple.

         After World War II, the Witches increasingly came to believe that they belonged in America as much as anyone else did, so why hide their identities?  In 1953, the Satanic High Priest, Blaise Jackson, proposed to his congregation that they reveal their identities to the state government of South Carolina and to the wider world.  The congregation agreed.  Jackson met with his counterpart of the Strangers, Pastor Todd Whitfield (grandson of Peter Whitfield) and proposed that the Bargain be changed to allow the Witches to “come out” as it were.  Pastor Whitfield agreed, and at the next meeting, the council amended the Bargain and Jackson called the media. 

            The reaction of the world disappointed the Witch community.  American was in the middle of a religious revival in the mid-1950s, in response to the atheistic tyranny of communism.  All across the United States, people expressed shock and outrage as they learned of a town where Satan was worshipped as regularly as God was.  The residents of South Carolina pretended they had never heard of such a thing, fearing the world would condemn them right along with the Witches.  Televangelists would pray for the island to be eaten up by the sea.  The National Council of Churches voted to denounce the Bargain, as well, a Faustian bargain.  Large crowds of Christian believers arrived in front of the Second Satanic Temple with signs hoping to shut the place down.  Jackson dispersed the crowd by threatening to cast a curse upon them. 

                Of course, when the Pope takes notice, then you know you’ve made it.  Upon hearing the full story of Pandemonium in L’Osservatore Romano, Pope Pius XII dictated a letter to the bishop for the Diocese of Charleston, asking him why he had made no attempt to confront this evil in his own land.  When one receives a letter from the pope, one better look busy, so the bishop instructed that a church be built on the Witch side of the line.[6]  This church would be staffed by a pastor and given whatever resources needed to stay open.  When the bishop’s assistant explained to him that there were no Catholics in Pandemonium, the bishop repeated his instructions and demanded they be carried out to the letter.  For the last sixty years, St. Michael the Archangel Catholic Church has stood in the town square, just on the Witches’ side, while other churches in the diocese have been closed for lack of funds or due to a shortage of priests, aid to parochial schools has had to be cut, and mission trips have been canceled.  The Diocese has always found a way to keep it open, if only to prove a point.[7]

                The Witches, shocked by this response, decided another liturgical reform would satiate the modern world. Starting in 1963, the Satanic ceremonies would no longer require the sacrifice of a rabbit.  The crushing of a large bug would suffice.  The Strangers reciprocated with their own liturgical reform, removing the ceremony whereby the congregation would drink the princess’s ashes with water and placing the Bloody Book in the crypt.  The bones from which the ashes were produced have been kept away from the public eye since the mid-1960s.

    Over time it became apparent, however, that the Christian world’s disgust ultimately lay not on the Witches but on the Strangers and how at home they appeared to be with their diabolic neighbors.  In 1967, Pastor Whitfield attended an ecumenical meeting of Christian pastors from all across America only to find he would become the main attraction.  Priests and preachers of every stripe demanded how he could tolerate the danger to his congregation’s souls presented by his lackadaisical attitude toward the Devil.  Council meetings, intermarriage, and, more recently, some Strangers had even started attending Cramner University.[8]  Whitfield calmly explained that the Witches’ beliefs had no influence on their day to day behavior.  Blaise Jackson was a gentleman, even if he had some retrograde beliefs concerning segregation, and Whitfield found him to be a reasonable and even thoughtful man over the many conversations they had during Whitfield’s years as Pastor.  Jackson, in fact, had admitted to Whitfield in private that he had no faith in witchcraft or the existence of Satan, but instead thought of himself as a curator of a museum containing the history of his community.  The comment resonated with Whitfield, who often doubted his own God’s existence in the small hours of the night, and similarly thought of himself more as a caretaker than an evangelist.[9]

                Whitfield ended the conversation with a bon mot. As a Lutheran pastor pressed him on the issue, Whitfield asked if his particular sect of Lutheranism still considered the pope to be the anti-Christ.  The Lutheran affirmed that it did, but asked how this was relevant.  “As we are discussing people tolerating ultimate evil, I wonder whether we are really discussing the Witches in my community or the Roman Catholics in yours.”[10]

                Jackson, now in failing health, held his own Ecumenical Council in 1969, when he received a visit from Anton LaVey in June of that year.  While LaVey thought his visit would be enlightening, or at least entertaining, the two men soon found they had little in common.  LaVey found Jackson’s conservative demeanor boring.  Jackson considered LaVey to be merely a provocateur.  When LaVey offered to succeed Jackson, Jackson refused him.  “My church is a museum.  Yours is a circus.  One does not belong in the other.”

                A museum to what we might ask? Jackson would pass away in January 1970, to be succeeded by a new Satanic High Priest, Alastair Grimsley.  Grimsley became the first High Priest to endorse integration and announced that both the Satanic Temple and the town of Pandemonium would have to undergo changes in order thrive in the coming century.  Pastor Whitfield met with Grimsley for lunch one Sunday afternoon to discuss a proposal to amend the Bargain yet again.  The proposal presented to the council would allow for a renovated meeting hall with three doors: one for the Strangers, one for the Witches, and one for the Fieldhands, in recognition of the Fieldhands’ contributions to the history of Pandemonium.  The community made two objections to these plans.  The Fieldhands complained that the very idea of forcing them to go through a different was just Jim Crow under a different name.  The Ze’ev objection was essentially “What are we dog food?  Why don’t we get our own door?”[11]  Whitfield and Grimsley argued that nobody was required to go through any particular door, and that the doors were meant to honor the founding sects of Pandemonium.  Furthermore, if the Ze’ev insisted, a fourth door could be added.  In the end, the meeting hall would be renovated to have four doors, one of each side, unlabeled so as to avoid any association with segregation.  That being said, today, each of the four sects had chosen a door to call its own, and members of the community rarely deviate from custom when entering the hall. The initiative would be Whitfield’s last public accomplishment before his death in 1975.  The Bargain has been amended only once more since then, to create a unitary executive in the 2004. 


    [1] See The Crimes of Beauregard Davis by Jonathon Coleridge.

    [2] Now on the National Register for Historic Places.

    [3] In the event that any tourist feels deterred from visiting Pandemonium because of these facts, the Author can assure them that the Ze’ev in their transformed state are normally very docile and only become hostile when provoked unnecessarily. While writing a portion of this brief history, the Author sat on his front porch one warm night in June and observed two transformed Ze’ev roaming his lawn without fear, for the animals barely noticed him.  Normally, they are pinned up on transformation nights.  The Ze’ev are, if nothing else, considerate and thoughtful neighbors.

    [4] Greenblatt’s superiors did not understand how this could have occurred, but merely found Greenblatt standing naked one morning in a German camp surrounded by dead bodies.  Giving him the Medal of Honor was the best way to accept the victory without having to explain it to anyone.

    [5] Undoubtedly this led to interesting debates as to how the children were to be raised, but those debates have been largely contained to bed chambers and kitchen tables.

    [6] This being the part of the town that God was supposedly not allowed on.

    [7] This is not speculation.  When the Author asked the current bishop as to why a church with no parishioners has remained open for six decades, the bishop responded “To prove a damn point!”

    [8] “It has one Hell of a law school,” Whitfield explained, perhaps not understanding the irony of this statement.

    [9] Thanks to the Stranger Church, who for the purposes of this brief history, have given the Author access to Pastor Whitfield’s personal journals as well as other invaluable documents.

    [10] I consider this a bon mot, but some visitors to Pandemonium consider this to be an unsettling remark.

    [11] The words of the Rabbi Maharam at the time.